surface thoughts

I decided

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:48:44 GMT

That I have spent enough time exploring the dark side of my personality. It's time to explore the light side.

I'll let you know how I make out

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:01:13 GMT

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange
-I make no promises as to timeliness

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well. We all can make stuff!
Also, you will have to give me an address to send said "stuff" to.

+

best customer e mail ever

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:17:21 GMT

I was cc’d on this, was sent to santaclauss@northpole.com

Cousin Santy,

Please be advised that even though your books show this young lady to have been bad all year long I need to help you get your books in order. What your books show is not really true. I think the Grinch has had a Gremlin secretly erasing the good Karen has accomplished and re-writing bad stuff about her. I know this young lady and I can confirm she has been good. Please see to it she has a good holiday.

Thanks

Cousin Butch

big wiener, er, I mean winner

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:10:42 GMT

Soooo, I was being super mom last night making cupcakes for my daughter’s chorus program tonight and I realized I was out of butter. You can't make cupcakes without butter. I peeled off the jammies, threw on the jeans and drove to the inconvenience store next to my house. They didn’t have butter or margarine. Perhaps that is why I can’t bring myself to call it a convenience store. On to the next store. While waiting in line, I spot “Silver Bells” scratch tickets. This just happens to be the name of the song I am singing with Emma tonight. I bought 3 of them and won $100.00!

Thanks shitty store next to my house! Thanks fate! Thanks for randomness! And thank you, Tiny Tim!

update

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 23:19:55 GMT

Went for a quick jog and took a really cool shower. I am feeling less scattered.

Now I am thinking about what Super Hero I want to be when I grow up. Something Wonder Woman-ish for sure

help!

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:18:43 GMT

I am in over-analyzing every thing I say to everyone mode. I hate this! It's when I replay every minor detail of every conversation I have had in the last week and wish it all away. It's horribly un-healthy and I wish I didn't do this. Perhaps if I write it out I can purge the system.
I said a whole bunch of crap to Mark's ex-girl friend/friend while I was drunk and now I feel like Homer Simpson (thinking I am cool when I am really UN cool) and I wish I could just take my mouth like a vacuum and suck all the words back up. But I can't.
I mean, I really didn't say anything too bad, but I am sure I sounded like a complete tool. Blah Blah Blah

Then I start to think that all the choices I have ever made are wrong. You know, CAUSE I AM A NUTCASE.
Anyways, this isn't helping, so I am going to a long walk on the treadmill.
Smell me later!

holy shit

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:18:59 GMT

I am leaving my thankless job. I got an offer from a direct competitor and I am taking it. This has been a nail biting past couple of weeks, but the deal is done. I can't fucking believe it! I wish I had more time to type, but I am packing for a mini vaca in Maine this weekend. I have a whole week off, then I start my new job on the 11th.

WOW

first attempt

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:29:13 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/karennskie/2647990068/

a word about Stella (aka Smudge)

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:12:00 GMT

I love my cat. She is so awesome. Sometimes I call her Smudges. She thinks that she is our child. She sleeps at the foot of my bed every night. When she knows I am awake, she will come up by my head and get under the blankets with me. If I don't pet her right away, she will bite my fingers, toe, arm, anything she can get at. She will sleep for hours underneath blankets, even in the summertime, even if Mark farts.

I love her even though she smells like poop sometimes. She likes to sleep in her litter box. And she " buries" her food, water, or litter box, by pawing at the walls. I always say "good job" even though I know she is not doing a good job. She is clearly not hiding anything. Stupid cat.

Sunday morning

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 13:36:31 GMT

I am so stinking tired! I can't seem to get it together this weekend. I have been tired from Friday night till now. And I don't mean regular tired. I mean full on I-am-about-to-fall-asleep-while-driving tired. I must have had about 4 coffees and an unlimited amount of diet coke yesterday and I was still ready to pass out last night at 8pm. I wish I could sleep all day.

I am bringing E to overnight camp today. She is so excited! I wish I could go, too. I like camp and I wish I could just go do that as a job. I told Mark once he is making big $$, that is the plan. I am going to go find a low paying job that I love. But not today, not anytime soon.

I wish I could make some thoughts here, but that's not going to happen. I need to go read and make my brain feel like a brain again. Have a great day next week!

My career as a make-up artist

Sat, 03 May 2008 13:31:55 GMT

So I have helped out with make-up at two of Emma's school plays. It's a lot of fun and I get to meet Emma's friends. This weekend I have been working with a theater group made up of some really special people. Stepping Stone Community Theater will performing in Whitinsville at Alternatives Adult Learning Center. They have a small theater in the building. The seating is from Harvard, they donated it when they were re-doing their own auditorium. The building is really cool. They actually generate their own power! They draw the energy for the Whitin Mill from hydropower and use solar power! They generate enough power to be able to sell some of it back to the power company. Anyone who grew up in or around Northbridge knows were the Mill is. I think it's great that this group is able to give back to the community in such a big way.

The best part of being involved in any play is that feeling that you are part of something much bigger than yourself. This experience is really making me feel like I am part of the community. Life is kinda crazy these days and getting to a place where you can give back feels really good. It makes me think about how lucky I am. I promise not to let any stupid crap muck up my thinking for at least one week.

NKOTB

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:47:08 GMT

Guess what?! I am actually going to see the New Kids! Emma just won free tickets to the KISS 108 concert at the Tweeter. (yes, I still call it the Tweeter) I can't wait to put on my acid wash jeans and spay the shit out of my hair with Aqua Net! It's going to be the greatest day eva.

You can pretend you are not jealous, but we all know the truth.

MMM Bop

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:08:15 GMT

I was watching Idol last with Emma. This is our Tuesday night ritual. We go upstairs and hang out with Cyndi. We try to talk and watch TV at the same time. Real family bonding! So we are talking and making fun of the Idol contestants and I mention Hanson. Emma had no idea who or what I was talking about. She has never heard MMM Bop! I don’t know what this means. Am I that old? Is she that young? Either way, I thought that was pretty damn funny.

Then on the way to work I put in a copulation cd and guess what was on it? Yup, MMM Bop. How could that not make you smile a little? I mean, carpe diem! Because in an MMM Bop, it could be gone.

ps-I know I am a huge geek

Joanna rip off

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:01:22 GMT

Ok, what came first? Crazy Cat or Joanna?

howdy!

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 20:48:00 GMT

I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

Things have been really busy and I haven't really had any good stories to share.

Um, ok, I see your point, my stories are rarely good.

Anyhoo, I love you guys!

random song*

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 23:50:41 GMT

oh life
i love you

just please don't let me down

i can't take

anymore
heartache

~insert some thing clever here~**

i always make you proud
so what if i make a mess of things?
sometimes...

looking at me
you can't always see
inside to the colored glass

*I just saw Music & Lyrics and realized...I was born to be a Lyricist! Please send good music w/out words to karennkie@gmail .com & I will make your crap a crappy song.

the old man

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 14:46:11 GMT

Mark just found out he has high blood pressure. Really high. He has a monitor & now I am helping him plan meals based on the DASH diet. It's hard for this guy to fill up on veggies after years of eating processed foods. Any recipe ideas are welcome. Last night I made fish & mashed potatoes. Tonight it's shepard's pie with turkey & summer veggies. I am going to make him tuna fish today with celery, onions, low fat mayo, & a dolip of non fat plain yogurt. I might even throw in some chili powder for the old man. I had him shop for all the food last night, so I can teach him not to be fooled by things labeled "organic" and "low fat". He needs to start looking that the labels so he knows what the heck he is buying. He is scared, it is pretty high. It's weird, he works ot at least 4 times a week. I guess it's just that his diet is really bad.

stress is lowering my quality of life

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 00:15:13 GMT

Here is a quick blurb to get you up to speed
Mark went to Texas for the weekend, Emma went to her dad's, I spent most of the weekend laying on the couch, watching Law & Order CI.

I am just so fucking tapped out. All I wanted to do was eat and sleep. My sleep patterns are way out of wack, so really the only good part was the food. Man, leave me alone for two days and I fall right back into the pattern! Between work, Mark, Emma, and keeping 30 year old family secrets, I don't have a lot of time to relax. Maybe what I need to do is re-define what relaxation means to me. I had more fun at the movies tonight with Emma than I did all weekend. (I don't care what anyone tells you, Sydney White was cute & campy.)

Anyhoo, I don't want to spread around the misery, so let's keep this short.
Mark is coming home tonight, thank god. I haven't really been able to relax with out him here. Emma is in the shower, when she gets out we are going to watch Teen Witch. After that, I have to get lunches and all that shit ready. Is this what life is? Lunches, movies, & ironing pants?

I hope life isn't a joke, cause man, I don't get it

hi

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:08:10 GMT

I figured I would update b/c I haven't written anything in a while. Mostly b/c work is sucking the life out of me. It has been such grand horror show, that it will not be discussed today.

E wanted to re-do her room over. She saved up some $$$ and bought a new bed-in-a-bag from Kohl's. It's arrival in the mail has inspired me to make over her dresser. Right now it is a hideous yellow and orange combination with palm trees for draw pulls. I am going to paint it in light blue, teal, & brown. I sort of have a plan in my head, but who knows? If I see something out there, it might change my whole plan. Wow, painting furniture-what an exciting lj!

We went to the Seafood Fest in Hampton Beach last weekend. It was pretty lame. It was about 10,000,000 degrees out and I think I lost 5 lbs in water weight alone. (don't worry, I gained it back) I drove so Mark could drink. That was pretty funny. He got drunk off of 3 beers due to the intense heat. Then I brought him to his friend's house for a little bbq. It rained, so we were stuck inside for most of the night. The highlight was lighting a quarter stick & shoving it into a watermelon to blow it up. That was pretty impressive. There was nothing left of that.

Other than work suckage, life is good. I am looking forward to my B day. I am really hoping that I get to go to Blue Man with E, but I am not sure how my wallet will take that. I have the first of 2 down payments on her braces this week. I am going to re-fi my car on Wednesday, so that should help me out. I might even be able to skip a car payment this month. Woo Hoo!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know I am still alive. You know, the three people that actually read this thing.

things you should know

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:40:46 GMT

about me when reading my blog

i will drive totally out of my way to get pizza from village house. i grew up on it & it's the best pizza ever
i still love (almost) every guy i ever dated. ~~you rock, old mark!~~
mark just brought me home a soft serve ice cream! i have been craving one since memorial day
i drink at least once a week, but not more than 3. that would make me an alcoholic
kids seem drawn to me in public places. they always waive or smile. it's like they know i am one of them
i love my cat more than some people that are my blood relatives
vivid dreams keep me up at night-a lot
my mother is my best friend and my nemesis at the same time
stray blacks cat make me nervous (until i get to know them)
em saved my life & does so every day
i like to watch "reality tv"- but will lie about it in social situations
i have broken all of my fingers at least once
decoupage is my favorite form of art
i secretly believe i have been put on this earth for a reason that will affect all of mankind.

if anyone knows what it is, please e mail me

xoxox

ps: fuck spell check

longest day ever!

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 20:45:47 GMT

Have you ever seen a picture of Mark? He looks something like this.
See, work was really slow today. So I had lots of time to fritter the day away. I am so bored that I can't even think of anything to say right now.

Come over and drink some beer tonight. I will be making spinach dip. I promise I will be more fun after I get outta here.

K?!

Hairspray

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 21:00:45 GMT

I just realized the I forgot to tell you, Hairspray was so great! You have to see this movie. John Travolta stole the show. I can't wait for it to come out on video. The whole audience applauded at the end of the movie, when is that last time happened? I think it was when I saw Misery on New Years Eve back in 92'. The audience applauded when Annie got killed. Anyway, If you get the chance, go see it.

It was ah-mazing

sleep overs are fun

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 14:31:56 GMT

The kids were great. They did competitive ribbon making. They had a karaoke contest. Then at midnight, we had an awards ceremony. I put on Mark's dress coat and a tie. Cyndi was there for the whole thing, so she handed out the awards while I mc'd (into an unplugged mic) They were really excited and kept bugging us about who was going to win what. I thought that they might think the awards were baby-ish, but they were so into it.
The last of them didn't go to sleep until 3ish. I don't think I slept for more than 3 hours. I am beat, but have so much to do today! I am going to Aunt Patty's pool to meet Shannon & Ava for some play time. Then it's off to dinner and a movie with my date Emma. Today should be fun, but sleeping is even better.

Anyway, the point of this post is to show you how cool I am. Ya, we mod podged these. It was fun. I should have bought a 20 pack. Now you know what you are getting for Christmas (if anything)

an ulcer?!

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 23:42:38 GMT

I have been having these weird hunger pains. There are really fierce and right below my rib cage. I was up half the night, hungry. I am hungry right now even though I just ate a Quaker deli grinder. Those things are huge, I never eat a whole one.
I just googled "constant hunger" and a thread came up that totally described the feeling in my stomach. It sounds like an ulcer.

I guess it's back to WEBMD for an official diagnosis. Or maybe to the freezer for an ice cream bar

ok, both!

oh life, it's bigger, bigger than you and you are not me

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 19:33:31 GMT

E is at camp. I dropped her off yesterday. When you pull in, they have a councilor there to greet you and mark off your name. I think this prevents random people from driving in. She had "cuts" all over her her arms. They were scars, letting me know the bad times were in the past. I didn't see any that were scabbed. They were all up and down her arms. I never cut, but I know people that did. In my day, you didn't really cut, you carved.* You carved a name, usually of a guy. I scratched one time, but I just didn't want to hurt myself. She saw me looking and it made me feel bad. Maybe one day when she is a mom, she will know that I wasn't judging her. Maybe she will know that I was looking out of concern for my own child's safety. I don't want Emma to know about cutting. Not yet. She knows about drugs and good/bad touching. Kids have to know about that stuff. It's on tv, it's at school.
I am just not ready to explain to her that sometimes things get so bad you have to cut yourself with a razor to forget. Can't she stay young just a little longer? Can't her innocence linger just a little more?

I hope that this young woman finds what ever she is looking for. I won't forget her, not ever.

*one girl used to put cigarettes out on her arms. i think she did this after her mom did it to her first

lighter burns were also popular. why???